


Your Hand in Mine

by bela013



Category: The Outer Worlds (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, I can finally tag this cursed fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-05
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-01-23 06:24:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 9,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21315652
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bela013/pseuds/bela013
Summary: A collection of Captain/Max fics.
Relationships: The Captain/Maximillian DeSoto
Comments: 29
Kudos: 184





	1. Chapter 1

He got used to her. And he couldn't pinpoint exactly when that happened. But one day, he was at the Groundbreaker for supplies, and he almost turned around to ask her opinion on something, when he realized he had left her at Gladys.

He tried to rationalize it as his mind getting used to following her around. They've been at it for four months now. The cogs of bureaucracy making everything take longer than it should. That and the lack of bits. Their trip to Monarch sucked out all of their resources.

Felix spots him from across the bullwalk, and makes a rude gesture at him. Immediately, he does one back at him, and picks up his parcel from the counter. That too is something that surprised him. That boy was a nuisance, but lately, his wish to hit him over the head with a tossball bat has been replaced with tired resignation. He knows that's Maura's influence, and that, much like him getting used to her, is not something he wants to pay close attention to.

"Heading back to the ship?" she shows up as if summoned, and he hums to her in agreement. One of his arms is empty, so he does, as he usually does nowadays, and offers her his arm. She's a perfect fit at his side. Her delicate hand, now slightly calloused due to her new life style of guns and what nots.

They climb up the ramp to the Unreliable, and it's silence that greet them. Even Ada is murmuring to herself and not admonishing them to clean up their feet. Maura looks at him. Her face right in front of his, open and full of smiles. He can't help but to smile back at her. Nor can he help but to lean down and brush his lips on hers.

She has described her time-stopping abilities to him before. And kissing her, felt like he was experiencing it himself. His arms are busy. One on his shopping and the other coming to clutch her offered hand. So it falls to her, so cup his face and tilt his head into a angle where she could press her tongue on his mouth with ease. He might have started it, but it's her that kisses him. And he's so grateful for it. A simple peck and he could feel himself losing the ability to think.

She kisses him. Kisses him until he's out of breath. Until he was weak at the knees and ready to drop his parcels. The hand on his face come to rest on his neck, and he pretends that the high pitched needy noise that he hears wasn't his.

Maura steps away from him. His body follows instinctly. His eyes flutter and he feels her thumb over his mouth. Her own mouth is a mess of lipstick, he couldn't think how his must look. So he just stands there and enjoys her attention. Once she's satisfied with her lipstick removal services, she leans onto him again, and gives him a soft peck at the edge of his mouth, before going up the main stairs. Leaving him alone with his shopping. He sighs in contentment before following her up the stairs and taking a turn to his own room.


	2. Chapter 2

It's late. They're orbiting Fallbrook. And he's trying his best not to make eye contact with either Felix or Maura. Which wasn't hard, since they were also trying not to look at him. They looked jittery. Each in their own way. And he knows he caused that.

He isn't proud of it. His anger tends to get the better of him sometimes. It was the reality of his life. He resigned himself to blowing up every couple of months. It was his lot in life. But when he had been ready to beat that lying cheat to a pulp, he sees the horrified looks in not only Maura's face, but on Felix's as well. He looks so young when he's scared.

Maura had placed a hand on his biceps, and in instinct, he shrugs her off. But it's him that recoils in horror as she steps away from him and huddles at Felix's side. He half expected him to say something to break the oppressive mood they were in. But he just ducks his head and walks away, Maura's hand clasped tightly in his.

He remembers watching them go. The mere memory of their retreating backs is enough to make him sick to his stomach. He can't remember exactly what was said to get the information he needs, but Chaney gives him the information in the end. His parting words is probably what stops him from just coming back and finishing what he started with this mess.

"I never took you for a family man."

Was that what he was now? Not a man of the cloth, but a family man? Looking at the constrained faces around him, he's sure that that had been only a mockery from Chaney. Even if in the right light, Felix looked like him. Or that the boy had the same hooked nose that Maura had. His hands clench, and he breathes so deeply that he almost whistles.

Law knows what type of life they lead before he met them. But he could piece it together, even if he was forced to do by his guilty feelings. He had seen many women and children with the same look they sported. They both didn't like shouting. If Maura and Felix ever fight, it was done in hushed tones and shades of sarcasm. Never shouting. It's almost always his voice that booms around the ship. He noticed them flinching when he would thrown something with too much force in the kitchen sink, or how they always took a step back from him in a fight. But he never paid attention to it. He never thought it was important enough for him to care about those details.

"I'm sorry." that isn't enough. He knows the moment he says it. And he can see it in Felix red face.

"How long until you do the same to us?" he's proud of him. Felix is scared. He can see it clearly in his eyes. But he doesn't back down. His voice doesn't waver. And if he grabs Maura's hand for comfort, Max can't judge him for it. He's proud. And hurt.

This wasn't his family. He knows this people for six months. That isn't his kid. That isn't his wife. But his stomach clentch at the idea of that. Of him not belonging. He wasn't a family man. He had been a man of the cloth his whole life. Thought blood and violence. Thought prison. Thought his parents death. He had always been a man of the cloth. And he was as scared as Felix of being something else.

Maura kisses the boy's cheek. She fell into the puzzle piece of mother for him quite easily. She brushes his hair out of his brow and whisper something to him. Max barely register when Felix stands up, dragging his chair and marches to his own room. Then it's just them.

"I'm sorry" he tries again. Not much else he can do.

"I know you are" her voice is soft, small. The hand on top of the table is palm up, inviting him, daring him. He is weak and can't resist clasping her hand like a lifeline. "He isn't like Parvati, Max. She sees us as well meaning folk with bad advice to spare." he bites his lip, remembering when Parvati told him in polite words to keep his opinions to himself. "Felix isn't like that. He saw two middle aged people who were willing to spend time with him, and he got attached. Fast."

He looked at her eyes then. Asking. What about her? What were her feelings on the matter? Did she feel the same as Felix?

"Maybe it's best we let this matter rest. And give him some space. I have bussines on the Groundbreaker. So it's for the best that we try not to work in that combination anymore."

No. He doesn't want that. He knew what that meant.

"I can change"

"Don't be stupid, Max. Why would you change for a couple of strangers you gonna abandon the moment you get your book?" with that, she pulls her hand from his and walks away.

He's glad it was only the three of them on the Unreliable. He didn't think he could have faced anyone else at the moment. And he couldn't find it in himself to move to his room. So he just sits on the table and run Maura's words over and over on his head. Leaving was the plan, yes. It was his exact plan for months. Except, leaving was the opposite of what he wanted. He wanted to stay. Just stay. Not to help the colonists, or destroy the board. He couldn't even say why he wanted to stay. But he sure didn't want to leave. Not like this. Not on this note. He wanted to follow the Plan. To decipher it. He wanted to be recognized for his work. He wanted to be praised. He wanted everything. He didn't want to give up whatever this was for the Plan. And he didn't, wouldn't give up the plan for the Unreliable. In frustration, he raises his hand to slam it on the table. But at the last moment, he catches himself and just bring his hand to his face. And if he cries to himself, there is no one there to see and judge him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know how to accept compliments. So I wrote something. Thanks everyone for the free serotonin.

His door was always open. He was sure that this behavior was a mixture of prison life and the life of a man of the cloth. The fact that this made it perfect for him to try and appear calmer to Felix, was just a coincidence. And completely pointless. After Maura sets the ship back to the Groundbreaker to pick Parvati back up, he sets himself for a quiet and lonely trip, when Felix kicks his spare chair and sits himself at his reading table. The boy looks like nothing happened in Monarch, and Maura's words ring true in his ears.

Felix thumbs through his Tossball card collection. It was the one thing that made their relationship easier in the beginning. This one shared interest. He closes his eyes for a moment. Forces himself to stop and think. Maura expected him to leave. Felix expected him to hurt him, and Maura. And yet, here they were. He was still welcome in the ship. Maura didn't immediately left the room when he made an entrance. And here was Felix fucking Millstone, willing to ignore his fears for a crumb of affection. He wonders if he is worth the trouble for this people. Or maybe they're so desperate that they're willing to accept a piece of shit like him.

"Max?" he opens his eyes to a frantic Felix.

"Promise me one thing, son." he raised his hand to place on Felix's shoulder, but thinks better of it, and ends up put both his hands on the table. He learned to appear non threatening in prison. He can do this. "If I make you uncomfortable, you tell me."

He could do this. He had to.


	4. Chapter 4

He had been sitting on a hot potato for a month. After his outburst in Monarch, Maura seamed to lose track of time more often. She dragged her feet to the most simple of tasks.

From time to time, she would look at him over the rim of her reading glasses. Silently judging him. He had yet to join her and Felix on an outing. Parvati made him silent company on the ship while his main concerns where tip toeing around Monarch with a cleaning robot. At least Sam provided them a great cover to hide behind when getting shot at. The fact that he couldn't personally watch their back was becoming a sore for him. What good was he to the ship if he couldn't do what was needed. Parvati had a ship to care for. Ada was the dammed ship. And Felix was Maura's shadow. What was left for him?

He had his books. And his quest for knowledge. Chaney told him where to find the translator. If he could be believed. And that was the hot potato that was currently burning his ass. And there was nothing to do but wait. Wait in Stelar Bay for them to come back. Wait for the plan to show itself to him. A clear path he could follow. Not the muddy tracks he had to make himself.

He makes dinner, with actual saltuna, a novelty for him and Parvati, both used to the slop from Edgewater. He makes dinner and he waits. He delivers a plate to Parvati in the bay, she's waist deep into cogs and greese, but she accepts the steaming plate with vigor.

"I could go days without talking to my dad, when I was mad at him" her timid voice drags him back from the door, and he turns to find her staring at her food, looking almost as if she was talking to herself. "Sometimes, I would get to mad, so upset, that I couldn't just go back to talking. Mostly because I had thrown a tantrum and I felt stupid. Like, what if my dad sent me away? I wanted to know about my mom so much, that what if he just sent me to her without saying goodbye?"

He doesn't have words for that. It wasn't exactly about him. But it fit well enough. And it was raw honesty. Something he still wasn't used to. Even after six months in the Unreliable.

"He never sent me away. He would always go to my room and tell me good night. Even when I didn't say it back. Especially when I didn't say it back." she shoves a particularly big piece of saltuna in her mouth and it's silent for a while. "I hope I didn't make him as miserable as you look right now"

"Don't worry, Miss Holcomb. My misery is of my own doing. So I'm sure your dad wasn't as upset as I am right now" empty words for a man he never met, but it earns him a smile, so maybe he had said the right thing.

He hears the main door open, the gaggle of SAM stopping up the ramp and Ada ordering everyone to wipe their feet. He managed a good talk with Parvati today, maybe he could bite the bullet and push himself into talking with Maura too.


	5. Chapter 5

He knocked on her door some good fifteen minutes ago. Max had been about to speak right in the middle of the stairs, when she moved over and invited him in. That alone threw him off. He's been pacing her room in silence, looking everywhere but at her. She had time, so she sits on her bed, crosses her legs beneath her and waits for him to gather himself.

Max wasn't discreet. She had been noticing his stares for days. Has been noticing his stares for months. Even since Edgewater. Max wasn't discreet. But his stares never made her uncomfortable, so she lets him look at her. And she in turn, looks back.

"I don't know how to fix this" she tries not to smile at his words. He was a horrible vicar. How could Edgewater just believe him to be an actual man of the cloth. Max ran his hands on his hair making it stand up in a comcompleteplet mess. She had no idea why he was being so dramatic. She kew that he and Felix were back at talking. If anything, Max was doing a good job at winning back the boy's trust, if Felix's description of their talks was anything to go by.

"People usually fix things by apologizing, and working not to repeat those mistakes" he wrills to her, all at once. Too fast. His eyes wide. She feels her arms twitch. An involuntarily response. But enough for him to see. He flinches away from her. A movement more intense than his turning to her.

"I'm sorry" his arms are glued to his side, and his face is twisted into something she couldn't explain. Could be guilt, or frustation. Maybe both.

"No need, Max. You just turned around too fast and-"

"No. I came here to apologise. To you. I can apologise for this too. But this is about Fallbroke"

That, wasn't what she was expecting. To her, what happened in Fallbroke was something of the past. It wasn't the first time she saw someone completely taken over by rage. Those sort of things happened around her. It was a reality of life, and she was more than used to it.

"You already apologized about that, Max" he steps closer to her then. Small steps. He was unsure of himself. Probably expected her to tell him to keep his distance. But she doesn't, and he walks right in front of her, and kneels at the edge of her bed. Maura bends her body forward, no reservations about invading his space. Their nose were awful close.

"I know who can translate my book" his words only make her want to to get closer to him. If only for a small second. He would be leaving soon enough. "And I have to do this. I have to go. And I _have_ to apologise. Please."

Part of her isn't paying attention to his words. Part of her is looking at his mouth and remembering how good his lips looked covered with her lipstick.

"I can't stop you from doing what you want, Max. Stay or leave. It's your life." her hands itch to touch him. To cares his face. To feel his five o'clock shade on her hands.

"I can't find my path to the plan alone." his eyes go red before she sees the tears gather on his eyelashes. "I don't want to do this alone"

She touches him. She uncrosses her legs. And she touches him. Very unprofessional. But she can't stop herself from untangling her legs and scooting over the edge of her bed to him. She hugs him, in a way that she hasn't hugged anyone in a long time. Her arms go round his neck and her legs tug at his waist, bringing him closer to her, into her embrace.

Maximilian DeSoto. Vicar. Ex-Con. And so completely warm in her arms. She clutches him to her. Wishing that for once in her life, she could be satisfied with her lot, and not crave something that wasn't hers. Max cries on her shoulder. No noise come from him. She hugs him with all she has.

"You never had to do it alone, Max. I'm here with you" he finally hugs her back and for a small second, and in that small second, he felt more hers than when she kissed him.

She careses his head, patting his hair back in place. Comforting him as much as she wanted to be comforted. She wanted to bargain, as she did in everything else. To demand him to stay if she were to help him. But she didn't have the stomach for those sort of things. So she just kisses his brow and listened to his soft ramblings of apologies. Wanting, wishing, willing him to stay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So far, they all follow an order. I wonder how long until I mess that up.


	6. Chapter 6

He wasn't sleeping. He was cramped in a cubby bed. His outer shirt was thrown over the back of the chair that was by the table. The over light twinkled in the many knick knacks around the room. He was a bit too warm. It would have been uncomfortable if not for the body pressed onto his side. This whole position wasn't the best. But possibly the best that could be had in a cubby bed.

Maura was at the corner, her leg thrown over his and his arm was pillowing her head. He took a deep breath, and smelled the Rizzo candy bag she kept by the bed. He put his hand over the one she put over his chest. Maura had hugged him until he calmed down, and kissed his face until he agreed to lay down next to her and spend the night. It shouldn't have been a difficult decision to make. He did want to be close to her. He wanted her to kiss him again. But he didn't want to ruin whatever they had. She snored. It wasn't a cute noise. And it still endeared her to him. Her little "flaws". He held onto her hand and ignored some of his fears for a little while.

She offered to take him to Scylla. Just the two of them. Maybe SAM. Because the automatron wouldn't laugh about his inssecuries. And because he surely doesn't want Parvati or Felix to see him break down. Maura was enough. And he could barely accept it. But this was the one bargain chip he had to make her trust him. That's what people did, right? Show weakness to build trust? Maura hasn't laughed or told him to leave her room, so maybe he was in the right track.

He declined, for now. He wanted the book translated. But being here in the Unreliable made him scared of the dammed book. If two kids arguing about a serial made him question his views in matters that had been set on stone for him before, he couldn't imagine what an actual insidious book would make of him.

What would change him more? A pathological liar and her two adopted kids, or a seasoned philosopher? He was already willing to believe every words that came out of Maura's mouth, even with visual evidence that she lied constantly to basically everyone they met. Would he also believe whatever bullshit a philosopher told him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love Maximilian DeSoto, and I love making him question his life choices.


	7. Chapter 7

"I'm a simple woman. I see bread and I eat it"

"Did it have to be my toast, though?"

Parvati wonder is this is what having a big family feels like. Having to listen to their stupid bickering early in the morning. No warning. Just two people talking real loud about bread. At least Felix was still sleeping. He would be making it worse by shoving both Maura's and Max's toast in his mouth.

"It's not like we don't have more bread. Sublight keeps us well, and we got all that saltuna on Monarch last week"

"Then eat saltuna. Or make your own toast. Hell, ask me to make you more toast"

She didn't know what the Captain did, but inspite the bickering, there was no shouting on the ship. Specially in the morning. The metal hul made everything echo.

"Why didn't you make me toast already? I made coffee for the both of us. Do I have to ask for toast every damn morning?"

"You made sludge, not coffee. That think is as most as thick as jello. And purple."

Parvati shoved a spoon full of cereal in her mouth and tried to chew as loudly as possible. Bother them with her mourning routine for a change.

"We ran out of sugar, so I put some Rizzo powder candy in it."

"That's awful. That's disgusting. How can you just sit there and sip that thing?!"

Parvati had tried some of the purple coffee. It didn't taste like coffee, and it wasn't bad either. But she wasn't about to say that. Max would just say that Edgewater fucked up her taste buds. Again.

"I'm not a coward."

"I rather be a coward than die of food poisoning in my own home"

When she was growing up, she only had her dad. And he, just like her, wasn't a mourning person. So they would just sit in silence. She liked that. She really missed silence. There was no silence in the Unreliable. There never was.

"Oh, so this is your home now? Because if it had been your home ten minutes ago, you'd made toast for everyone!"

"What kind of fucking stupid logic is that? And stop drinking that thing!"

Okay, so the shouting was gone, but they still raised their voices. A lot of outside voices over breakfast. Makes her wonder how this would out sound like if they were a normal family in a normal house in a normal city. The neighbors would have ganged up on them for all the noise.

"I won't. This is my coffee. I made it. I like purple, so I'm gonna keep drinking my purple coffee"

In that glorious moment, SAM shows up, stomping into the kitchen, beeping. Until he fired a water jet on the coffee pot.

"Bacterial treath vanquished!"

After that, is just back to general mess and noise, with Maura trying to chug the coffee on her mug as fast as Max tried to pry it from her hand. All in all, a normal morning in the Unreliable. Made her wondered if Junlei was a morning person. Maybe something to ask her next time they talked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really hungry when I wrote this.


	8. Chapter 8

They had come to an agreement. It had been easier to sleep when they did it together. And they wanted to talk after everyone else had gone to bed, so the most logical thing was for them to get together in her quarters and find a position that would fit both on them in the cubby bed.

Max always ended up at the edge of the bed, and during the night, they would switch who was spooning who. So far, no one fell to the floor. She proposed they laid down their bedding on the floor, where they had more space for their legs, but after a whole day with both their backs killing them, they vetoed the idea . Besides, they secretly liked more when they were cramped and had a consistent excuse to spoon each other.

"What do you plan to do when all of this is over?", she expected Parvati or Felix to spring that question on her. Not Max, who was allergic to long term commitment that didn't involve the Plan. But this is what their late night talks have become. With her back pressed to his chest, he felt like he could say anything to her.

"Keep working for Sublight. Lilya pays well, and she gives me extra bits to put up with her conspiracy theories. It's a good gig." so much better from what she had before. Lilya's weirdness was charming once you got to hear her go on a full rant about cystpigs and what's wrong with them.

"Yes, but are you settling down somewhere? She's not sending you to salvage random shit anymore." The rumbling of his voice on her back was a comfort she didn't know she needed to sleep a full night. Max wasn't the first man to share her bed. She was 46 and once divorced. But this thing they had, was a novelty for her.

"I'm staying in Monarch. Everywhere else is a bit hollow. But I love the constant mess that is living in Stelar Bay now that the Iconnoclasts are there." the hand placed on her stomach was just a hand. His touch never asked for anything more than closeness. She felt pathetic about how basic human decency made her weak in the knees.

"You'd fit right in with them. And Catherine likes you well enough, so Fallbroke is still an option" her hand covered his, their fingers tangling together. She wants to ask about him. Where is he going? He wants him to stay. She wants to offer him a permanent place in the Unreliable, in her bed, in her life. But it's not like she has the guts to say all this. They haven't known each other all that long.

"Do vicars date, Max?" this was all but a smaller version of what she wants. But even if he says no, that would still be an answer she could work with.

"I can't answer for all vicars. But this one doesn't. I don't believe in dating." his head in leaning on her neck, his nose touching the nape of her neck, his lips almost brushing her skin. "I believe in marriage, thought."

Her breath catches in her throat. And she tried not to gasp out loud. With the protection of not having to look at her in the face has made him bold in areas she rather him be more discreet. Because her face was burning, and his hand on her stomach was suddenly too hot.

"Marriage isn't all that great, Max" his lips brush her neck, slowly, with purpose.

"Not if you do it right, with the right person." he kisses her. Her heart speeds up. And that's how she falls asleep. With his body an imprint around her, his breath on her neck. And her mind trying to wrap itself around the concept of Max marrying off to someone else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can't add images in here, but my note, is just that .gif of Elmo with his arms raised in front of fire. I swear I'm going somewhere with this, and when I get there, well, stuff will happen.


	9. Chapter 9

"No" Maura doesn't even look over her shoulder at Max when he answers Felix at the same as her.

"I have stuff to do in Scylla too", Felix was standing in front of the smaller ramp they used to disembark. His new armor was polished with care and the MSI logo had been completely scratched out.

"The fuck you do" this time, she practically feels Max's eyes burning holes in the back of her head. "We're talking about this at leangh, before we meet a fucking weirdo in his boyscout club"

"Then just take me with you, to meet the translator. I'm not gonna stand in the way" she reaches out for him, her hand on his cheek, when she feels Max's arm coming around her to touch Felix's arm.

"I know you won't, honey. But I need you to stay here, with Parvati, and SAM. Scylla is dangerous, and I already have my hands full with Max." that's seams to do it's work. That and the collective attention he's getting from them.

"Yeah, Max needs all the help he can get." Between them in a weird sort of embrace, she can't help but think that all they need is Parvati, for this departure to go full serial drama. 

She steps outside the Unreliable, Max right at her heels, and all her confidence vanishes. She still thinks he's just going to vanish, once he gets his book translated. No matter all the clothes he left at the ship, or all the knick knacks he keeps bringing back. He could just leave with his shitty book. And abandom his stuff with them. Something for them to remember him by.

Max steps up next to her, and holds his hand to her. It was a stupid idea to walk around holding hands. She stills accepts his hand. And they take a small trek around some mechanicals to the abandoned mining city.

"Didn't we come here a couple of weeks ago?"

"Yes, right before we went to Monarch, and all buildings were close of. I remember, I checked. We could've do some bits with whatever was in those houses" it's still was a sore point to her, that Catheryn refuse to sell her the cutting tool for small salvage before she did the weird job she wanted her to do.

"I'm glad we didn't rob the translator" she hums in agreement, the small outpost in front of them is a match with her map. She wished she had robbed the fucking translator.

She had been ready to just break into their house when Max holds back her hand and knocks on the door. His face is very close to here and he looks a bit frantic.

"I need you to keep your cool about this, because I'm very close to losing my shit"

"Alright, you weirdo. Just don't try to rip this translator a new one, okay?" Max give a quick peck on her lips before he turns back to the door and starts pounding on it. "For fucks sake, Max, you gonna break the door!"

"It's open!" the tired tone on the person inside already made this into a bad idea.

The weird old person inside the house was like a last nail in a coffin. They were gonna get killed in Scylla.

"Are you here to rob me?"

"I wish" Max takes a step in the direction of the translator, and she hooks an arm on one of his. "We're here because my friend want you to translate a book for him"

"Oh" they looked disappointed, but it's not like the house looked like it was filled with profitable shit either. "You're here for enlightening."

"I just want this book translated" Max was still tucked at her side, but now he was shaking his book at the translator's face. She squeezes his arm. His face was getting red already.

"Good luck with that. Even if I get you a translated copy, you're not getting enlightened now." the translator sits heavily on a nearby chair, before digging around in a drawer. "This type of thing take time. And you don't look like a patient man."

Max bites his lips at their words. He looks down at her, as if he's looking for something, some kind of answer.

"Can't you help him? He's kinda antsy about it, and hasn't shut up about this book since I met him." the translator stops and looks straight at her, with some very intense beady eyes for an old person.

"I have... something that might help. Very dangerous, but if he takes it, he might find enlightenment" now it's Max that squeezes her arm.

"Take? Are you one of those weirdos who suggest getting high for self discovery?" they twist their nose in mild disgust, before giving a low chuckle.

"Is this what you kids call it this days? Either way, whatever I have, is not a drug. It's the real deal!" this was a bad idea, they were discussing getting high in the middle of nowhere with someone who looks like they haven't eaten a decent meal in ages.

"I'm not sure about this. I don't do well with drugs" he looks so disappointed about it, that she decides to take pity on him.

"Can't we just get a translated copy, and maybe a raincheck about the drugs? We don't even know your name"

"You can call me Hermit" they finally dig a book from their drawer, and just hand it to Max, who looks like he's about to spontaneously combust with excitement.

"That sounds like a drug dealers name. No offense" the Hermit gives a hearty laugh about it, and she knows she's about to do something stupid. "Look, we have some spare saltuna in our ship, would you like some?"

After that, the Hermit just pushes them out of their house, still laughing about this two weirdos that invaded their house. Maura turns to look at Max, expecting him to be to entranced by his book to pay attention to anything else, but his eyes fixed on her.

"Do you think I can bring my book to bed, today? Maybe do some light reading before sleep." she can't say what expression her face is making, her heart is already beating wildly about the things this impossible man made her feel. But maybe he could see reason in it, because he does the exact right thing, and kisses her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love the Hermit okay?


	10. Chapter 10

"You know that Felix isn't a child, right?" Maura swivels her chair away from the console to look at him, sprawled onto her bed.

"Do you?" he doesn't bother answering that. He can't exactly explain why he sees Felix the way that he does and he rather not rationalize it.

"You cut his hair. And brush it afterwards. Then you bother him to eat his dinner. Or how you keep patting his hair everytime his face even twitches into a frown" she doesn't deny it, just nods along as if it's all perfectly normal.

"You just described what I do for Parvati. And you. Excluding the hair thing. You refuse to let me cut your hair, inspite Felix and Parvati displaying my prowess with a pair of scissors." he feels his face burn at the memory of her brushing his hair, and kissing the shell of his ear when she was done.

"But you treat him different than Parvati. You protect him more."

"No. I just hug him more. Parvati likes her own space and likes initiating her own hug. I love them just the same"

"I didn't say anything about love" he regrets bring this all up the moment he runs his mouth and says that. Her face literally contorns itself into a pained frown. But he started this. He should at least finish it. "Felix is 25. And Parvati is 28. Do any of them actually need this? Do they really need you? And me?" there, a little personal information to sooth the sting of his words for now. But by the look of her face, she doesn't notice or care for it.

"I would've killed to have someone to pay attention to me when I was their age. Just someone to tell me I looked nice. To hold my hand when I scared. I still would." her eyes search for his, and sits up in bed, patting the mattress next to him. She accepts his invitation to her own bed, and attaches herself to his side. Her arm firmly around his ribcage, her head on his shoulder. "Did you really think you were an all knowing adult at their age, Max?"

Foolish man that he was, he thought he had all the answers until he met her, and her little tag alongs. Did he feel the same as her? Did he want someone to tell him he looked nice or to sooth his fears? Maybe not. But he couldn't deny her logic. He would to have someone right now to talk about his doubts in the Plan. He talked plenty with Maura, but sometimes, he wished he had someone he had someone to talk about his own conflicting feelings about this little band of orphans in the Unreliable.

"People are not islands. People aren't asteroids drifiting in space. People are moons, and they need a planet, until they're big enough to become planet themselves."

"Your science is all wrong, but I do appreciate the feeling." she gives an watery chuckle, and he feels her pressing her wet face to his shoulder, drying the tears she didn't want him to see.

"Felix isn't a kid. But he wants us to be there for him. And I want to be there for him. Why can't I give that stowaway kid, something that he wants? Maybe he doesn't need me. But he wants me there. Isn't that enough?"

"What if I hurt him?" her arm around him tightens. She knows what he's capable of.

"All parents hurt their kids eventually, Max. But not all of them are willing to see their mistakes and try to change. You're already better than most"

"That doesn't sound like it's enough."

"Then do better."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Felix isn't much younger than the rest. And this is the best explanation to why I write him like I do.


	11. Chapter 11

She held a greased rag to her nose. Mostly to avoid smearing blood on her semi-clean shirt. Or worse, getting it on the floor and forgetting to clean it later. The last thing she needs is for the whole ship to start freaking out on her because of a little blood. This wasn't the first time this happened. Phineas said it was to be expected. Her body was bound to react badly to the prolonged cryo sleep, and of all the things that could happen, this was a mild side affect. All in all, it was mostly a bother. Especially when her crew would catch her in a private moment of weakness and go on a wild hunt for medial supplies and medicine.

They needed a doctor. Preferably one with mildly loose morals and not to annoying. Her options were limited. And mostly, she just wanted someone that wouldn't talk down to her. She went back to the task of attaching a new front plate to her armor, and tried to make it an even looking work. She had someone in mind already. She was going to get two people in the crew screaming about it. But maybe not. Max always complained about the lack of adults on the ship, so maybe offering a position on her ship for that nice doctor from Roseway wouldn't meet too much opposition. After all, he looked lonely and desperate enough back in the Groundbreaker.

Finally done with the armor, and sure that her nose stopped leaking blood, she walks to ADA, ready to set her course to the Groundbreaker, get some supplies before they went to Byzantium, and maybe get themselves a doctor too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love how this is just a mess about Maura now


	12. Chapter 12

The first time he saw her, he knew she wasn't from around. Her clothes were ridiculous. Skin tight suit. Hair in a complete mess. She had milky white freckles on her face, like dried up goo. Her much too pale lips set her as a sickly version of Parvati. She smiles at him, when she notices him staring. He can see it in her eyes, as she measures him up, and find him lacking. She drops the flirty smiles. And she shivers. She looked terribly cold. Parvati waves at him on their way out, and he can see the girl trying to guide the woman to her house. She could do with proper clothes before heading out. He doubts she will come back alive. Much less with his book.

When she comes back, she's still in her shitty jumpsuit. So when he takes his fucking French book from her, and throws the spare coat she has on the back pf3his chair at her. The purple looks horrible on her, but she doesn't seam to care, and just puts it on, buttom it up, and glares at him from the colar of his own coat.

"I don't care what you have to offer. You can't wait on the ship. You want to tag along, you help me fix this mess" she is a dangerous woman. She just looks stupid. Now, without Parvati by her side, she looks practically devious. Her sweet smile from before is down right calculating now.

"Let me get my gun. And maybe some better boots for you to wear. You look like a wet sprat." she scrunches her nose ar him, but follows him to his private room. And in no time, they're outside Edgewater, and she is wearing half of his wardrobe. Maybe purple didn't look too bad on her.

"Don't you think people will talk about this? I just came out of your room wearing your stupid cassock."

"Oh, you know what that word means? I'm impressed." he gives her the best smarmy smile he can muster, and watches as she can't find a smartass answer to give and just laughts. "I'm leaving. And I carry a big gun. What they say doesn't matter."

"Alright, Vicar. It's your life."

She shrugs, and accepts him pushing her out of the church, with a hand on her back, on the direction of Ms. Holcomb's house.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is a time line?


	13. Chapter 13

After the prison, Tartarus, she half expected everyone to leave the ship and go about their lives. So when she climbed onto the captain's chair for a video call from Lilya, and got yelled at for a couple of hours, she thought she was gonna find everyone packing and ready to leave as soon as she ported on the Groundbreaker.

What she found was everyone at the kitchen, banging pots and arguing with each other as they made dinner. A normal Thursday. Max bent over the stove, using the hand that wasn't stirring the pot to push Parvati away. Felix right behind them trying to wrestle a pan out of Sam's hold.

She sits at the head of the table and watches them. After an year of working together, living in the same ship, and her pretending they were her blood family to gather the sympathy of people trying to shoot at her, she doesn't quite know what to make of the structure she built.

Parvati was sure to stay on the Groudbreaker with her girlfriend. Felix was young, he was bound to get tired of having to listen to Max and her, sooner rather than later. That left her with Max, it still was a toss up what he was going to do, no matter that he slept next to her for months. They spoke of the future before, but never  _ their _ future. She didn't know how to tell them the new orders Lilya gave her. Five minutes ago, she thought she was going to have to build her life for one, all over again. Now, she isn't so sure.

"What did the boss lady say?" Felix gives up his struggle with Sam, and go sit by her side at the table. A glass of Rizzo soda is placed in front of her.

"I'm not fired. But only because I got her that flashdrive from the prison. The location of all the Board's storage units for contraband bought me permanent free pass in her book"

"Sweet! Do you think you could get me a captain jacket after this?"

"Maybe. Her lawyers aren't happy thought. We have to ditch the ship."

"Ditch Ada?!" Parvati shouts at them, and Max looks at her over her shoulder, his face of confusion and Parvati's of pure indignation.

"The ship, not Ada. I'm getting a smaller ship, and installing Ada in it. She knows and she's okay with it. In fact, Ada was the one who gave the final say in the option of ships Lilya offered me."

"Yeah, but we barely fit in this ship, imagine a smaller one" Felix and Parvati go on a lateral conversation about the ideal ship size. Max on the other hand, is looking straight at her, only stopping his starring to stir the pot.

"The Unreliable is marked. We can't keep it. And something of this size is not practical." She doesn't know why she bother explaining herself, they're deep into their own conversation, Ada speaking through the speakers to join the argument.

She lets the sound of their bickering wash over her. Who knows how long will she have company to fill in the silence. Which was a mistake, on their own, Parvati and Felix reach a conclusion she wasn't all together comfortable in discussing.

"Maybe, Maura gonna ditch us all on the Groundbreaker and run away to Monarchy. Plenty of orphans and religious nutjobs in there. She can get new us in no time." Felix's joke falls flat with Parvati. He turns to her to get her to laugh it all off, and when he sees her grin face, his only reaction is a small 'oh' of surprise. It's enough to make Parvati also look at her.

Complete silence is all she gets. Except for Max's vigorous stirring of the pot. She wasn't sure if he was doing this because he didn't care, or because he was holding back a more violent reaction.

"Maura?" she looks away from them. Parvati's voice breaks at her name. It's too much. Somehow, she starts crying, and it's not their faces she sees. She can picture with details, the face of every person that abandoned her, the 1st chance they got. She pictures her failed marriage, and her husband asking for a divorce. The coworkers she practically adopted as her own children, not once sending her a note, after they left the company. She's in a room, with people she can admit to herself, that she loves, and she feels completely alone.

Her crying turns to breathless sobs, and she's hyperventilating, barely feelings the frantic hands on her shoulders, or the delicate fingers wiping away at her tears. She thinks she's suffocating, and it's only when a pair of arms hug her from behind that she feels her mind clear for a bit. She gets an armful of a tearful hug. And she cries as her mind try to clear itself from the fog of doubt.

She doesn't know how long it's been. Her throat is raw, and her nose stuffy. She feels much too warm, but the arms around her refuse to give room for her to move. Parvati has her pinned against Felix's chest, her head pressed against her neck. She sees Max, from the corner of her eye, watching. His fingers twitch, but his arms are stiff at the side of his body. Felix places his scruffy chin on top of her head. It's quite uncomfortable, this position they have on the floor. Sam stood at the kitchen doorway, looming.

"She has to breath" she has heard Max cry before. That's his tearful voice. Raw and full of emotion. She reaches her one free hand towards him, and he takes no time in marching across the kitchen and grabbing on to her fingers for dear life.

"I'm fine" her voice is a raspy whisper, but it will do. "I truly am, children. You can let go of me now" they don't. Not that she expected they would. She just hoped for more room for her legs. "It's all fine. I'm not ditching anyone on the Groundbreaker. I just expected you all to have somewhere else to go. Just that. Nothing more."

She wants to get up. Her legs were getting numb. She wants to forget her one moment of weakness caused this. She could have been more clear.

"Look, the smaller ship means we can't all live on the ship anymore. But that doesn't mean I'm abandoning anyone or replacing you all. It just means I'm going to live somewhere else and you all don't need to be attached to the hip with me 24/7." they don't move, and when she looks up to ask some help from Max, she can practically see it in his eyes. He thinks she's lying and he's also not letting go of her hand.

"I am settling in Monarch. There is space for one more in Stellar Bay. There is space for …" she stops herself to count heads, and she feels Felix laughing behind her "For four more people in Stellar Bay."

"We're five with SAM" comes Parvati's muffled voice from her neck.

"I'm pretty sure Sam can live on the ship. Ada will make room for him better than she will make for us." she accepts it with a nod and all that's left, is her purple wearing beau. "What about you, Max, you wanna shit on my Monarch plan too?"

He look uncomfortable, all stiff, looking down at her and the tangle of her somewhat adopted children. The corner of his mouth move as if he wants to say something, but all he does is stare. She almost groans in despair when he gives in to some repressed part of himself and kneels next to them, hugging her and her two idiots, the best he can.

"I'm not leaving the kitchen today, am I?" Maura takes a deep breath and sighs in content, when Max leans to kiss the side of her face. Her bad memories not forgotten, but safely tucked away, as she enjoys the moment.

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've heard rumors of a Outer Worlds DLC, so I ended up writting my own post game scenario.


	14. Chapter 14

A bit before they port on the Groudbreaker, Felix and Parvati accost him. It's been a long time since he was so roughly manhandled against a wall and threatened. But it's what they do. Felix is half a head taller than him, and Parvati is almost double his weight in muscle. He thinks they're gonna beat him up, and he's not sure why, but he probably would deserve it. Except all they do is leave him with a clear instruction. Not to leave Maura's side in the Groudbreaker. He complies and doesn't tell them that he intended to be her shadow, whether she wanted to or not, for the day.

He should have known it was a mistake making those two work together for so long. Now Felix could hack terminals he shouldn't be allowed near, and Parvati learned to intimidate people. He watches them leave the ship, with all their little knick knacks in travel bags. He waits for the woman of the hour to show up, and after fifteen minutes of waiting by the main door, he goes looking for her. Maura has been weird since Tartarus.

She's standing right infront of the big windows of her quarters. Ada was on a portable monitor on top of the table, and her things are enough to fill a big duffle bag, and yet, that's not even half of what him or the kids have. Just the sight of her is enough to make his collar tighten, and his palms sweat.

"Are you going to leave me?" her first words to him since this whole thing came to an end. He had been expecting it since she took him to the Hermit. But Maura was a good woman, so understanding, she gave him space, listened to his rambling about the Law and the book. He feels very foolish, for not taking action sooner.

"I don't want to." he steps closer, almost forgetting Ada at the table, but the movement of her animated eyes follow his steps.

"I'm not forcing you to stay, Max. You're an ambitious man." she turns to him, and she takes his breath away. "Don't you have a flock to manage?"

"No without you." it was now or never. He takes a deep breath, and steps even closer to her. "I love you."

"Love have never stopped people from leaving." he knew her to be a liar, he expected something of that type of diversion. But this brutal honesty took his footing.

Max does the one thing he can think of. It's a gamble. He knew what she thought of the matter, but it was the one thing he had to offer. His own life. The ring he takes off his pocket is an old one, but new to him, to her, to the thing they had between them. Hermit gave it to him, in the few times he went to visit them without Maura. The purple stone in the middle was a polished stone of a very fine and expensive prayer bead. He thought it was fitting.

"I want to marry you." the words tumble out of his mouth, and he feels like kicking himself. He was supposed to ask her, to offer his love. He looks up expecting the worst, and she gifts him with a look of pure amazement. Maura wasn't even looking at the ring, but at him.

"Max, I know you think certain rules don't apply to you, but vicars don't marry." without seeming to notice, she steps up to him. Her hands, covered with little cuts of someone just learning to fight and handle guns, her beautiful hands, they wrap around his, so very close to the ring.

"I told you, Maura. This vicar doesn't do dating. I do marriage. And I want to marry you. Only you."

"You'll regret this."

"I'll regret not doing this more. I already regret not doing this sooner."

Maura doesn't seem to have words for that. But he takes the ring of his hand, looking at it, studying it. To him, it feels like an eternity. So when she slips it on her finger, it's like his path has finally aligned with what the Plan wanted of him.

"I'm going to get you a ring" she caresses his face with her ringed hand, and he sways and leans against her touch. "I want you to marry me too." Maura pulls him to a kiss, and it's perfect.

"Does this means I can officially put you and Max onto the same quarters on our new ship?" Ada's voice isn't enough to break the spell he in currently in. He listens and Maura bickers with Ada and he's perfectly fine in leaning his head against her shoulder and breaking her in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My heart is full of love. This whole fic was about this. I just wanted some honest to the Law romance.


End file.
